November 2010
10 posts
Wife listening to her husband talk to himself as he watches 'Oprah's Favorite Things' episode
- James: Are they going to scream and cry like this every time Oprah shows them something?
- James: Why are they crying?
- James: That bag looks like a piece of shit. What are those? Slippers?
- James: I thought these shoes were custom made. How are they giving them out without knowing their sizes?
- James: ♬ We're fat ladies dancing ♬
- James: Oh My God.
- James: "Oh mothafucka! A cashmere blanket? OH LAWD!"
- *he's quiet for 2 mins, I look over and he's asleep*
- Kelly: You can't go to sleep
- James: I can't watch this, how can they do this for a whole hour?
- James: They should all have to wear the sweaters.
- James: Gettin' it! Gettin' it! SOLD! Where's the fucking phone. I want that knife. Isn't that what this is? Get Oprah on the phone.
- James: Now everyone gets macaroni and cheese. Gifts are degrading now, they got a $2000 watch 10 mins ago.
- James: I hope you're writing this down Kelly. Ghirardelli's Brownie Mix.
- James: I'm calling my lawyer. Oprah was looking at me when she just said "You're all getting one"
- James: All those ladies are like 'Who the fuck is Jay-Z'
- James: "Oh muthafucka, that is some good macaroni and cheese."
- James: That lady has no idea what Netflix is, she thinks she just won a movie studio. Look at her crying and making prayer hands! It's $8 a month lady.
- James: Did Oprah seriously just say 'my favorite workout pants'
- James: Is this show live in Chicago? I wonder how many people got rolled for their stuff when they left.
- James: Well that was stupid.
- Kelly: What was your favorite thing?
- James: When it ended.
